Mental Escape from Office Drudgery

…with nothing to do, here I sit. Bored. Bored senseless. Bored out of my gourd. Yes…bored.

This week has been anticlimactic. Monday was shortened only by the need to drive to Crystal City that afternoon. Tuesday’s class, that necessitated the aforementioned trip, was a waste of a day. I did refrain, somehow, from becoming overly antsy in the class or from being in an ongoing argument with the presenter. …all of this frustration over a likely soon-to-be-implemented pay system that has the great concept of pay for performance combined with a lack of checks and balances, the deprivation of ways a person can increase his or her salary in a short period of time, an obvious deficit of input from Joe Schmo, and way too much bureaucratic group-think with congratulatory back-patting before program flaws have been investigated - let alone remedied. Wednesday and Thursday somehow passed without much fuss. Today, however, is different. The morning crawled at a snails pace…actually, slower. I enjoyed a break from my corner at lunch and visited Subway. At this point, I still have 2.25 hrs to endure. I have fired up Launch as TV-Links is no longer my working-day friend. Nearly every link I click and option I choose is met by (a) the need to download a media player, (b) an error, or (c) oblivion – in which a window opens but nothing ever loads. TV-links presents another problem. (2 to be exact) If I get enthralled, I am not likely to hear someone coming behind me. I don’t really want to be found watching House reruns or Fight Club (if I could get the friggin’ thing to work!). The alternative, listening to a program, is very much less interesting and is therefore unacceptable. The other problem is that Big Brother is watching. High bandwidth usage is a red flag, and as much as I might complain, I’d rather be employed than not…

This weekend is currently being viewed with much anticipation and optimism. One of the certain highlights is it is three days long. I love taking off of work. Monday will be spent hacking my way through a 36-hole marathon. Even if I average 95 per 18 holes, the day’s rating will soar far above that of office drudgery. Mt Valley beckons me…and I shall not resist.

#6 on the "Maple" nine

The Open @ Oakmont

Perhaps against my better judgment, I’ll type this while in a stupor of drowsiness. This, being not out of a sense of obligation, but written to both inform the nonexistent masses that frequent my page and to numb my mind to the inescapable sense that the hands of the clock are moving at half-speed while I sit in my cubicle jail cell. Without further blabbering, I present the past week:

This past Tuesday, I turned 24. It was a fairly quiet event. I’ve found that birthdays aren’t the annual holidays of our childhood, once we have moved away from home. When I was young, family and friends constantly reminded me of the occasion, and there were parties and gifts to anticipate. Now, though gifts are still nice, and being with loved ones is still a treat, there is a definite decrease in the hoopla factor. This isn’t really a complaint. I do not care about having a big bash, nor do I mind being older. In fact, I quite enjoy the inverse relationship that my car insurance premiums share with my time on this Earth.

This weekend was fantastic despite a disappointment that was completely out of my hands. On Sunday, I was one of these people.

Thanks to my wonderful girlfriend and some planning with a good friend of mine from my days at MethCo, the “woms” (a term of endearment coined by another friend) and I spent many hours in close proximity to many of golf’s top players: Els, Funk, Singh, Furyk, Mr. Woods (just google him - if you must) etc. Mickelson took the weekend off… that’s ok. (I can see overweight hackers at the local municipal track.) The only other tournament I’ve attended was The Player’s Championship in the spring of 2002. I was able to get much better views there. I’m under the impression that approximately the same number of people attended each. However, Oakmont’s openness and hole configuration do not allow for spectators to be along each side of every fairway and tee. This caused many areas to be off limits and severe congestion in those that weren’t. Worse yet was that after Baddeley handed over the lead on the first hole, Tiger couldn’t hold onto it with par. His 2-over round resulted in a 2nd place finish tied with Jim Furyk, one stroke behind Angel Cabrera. Despite the loss, it was an enjoyable experience.

I also decided that my not-so-coveted Fashion in Golf award goes to Ian Poulter (see above). I’ve liked his sartorial choices for a while but would never wear any of them. Why would I, a hacker, want to have any more people’s attention than is absolutely necessary?

After the festivities, we made the return to Harrisontonburgvillefieldcesteria around midnight. Time well spent.

"Find your fun - faster" ...I found mine.

Thanks to the rut I’ve created, fallen captive to, and perpetuated, information from two weeks ago can still, very much, be considered news. This news is the purchase of a new automobile. After very much research, some test driving, some crunching of numbers, and a good deal of thought, I decided on the Honda Civic EX. “Why?” you might ask. …to which I respond, “Why not!” My criteria were many and, dare I say, unrealistic. I was looking for new, 4-doors, manual transmission, good acceleration, fuel economy, that runs on 87 octane fuel, and is affordable. Also added to this list were the elements of appeal and reliability. Several cars satisfy some and not all of the requirements. The first four requests would be easily met by the BMW M5 or Mitsubishi Evo. The Kia Rat-trap or Hyundai Shoebox could likely meet some of the standards too, but let’s not be silly.

Among the researched vehicles were the Ford Fusion, Mercury Milan, Dodge Avenger, Chrysler Sebring, Saturn Ion and Aura, and Pontiac G6, to name a few. I realized that I’d need to explore “extra-continental” options. (as if the afore mentioned pop out of US soil like the corn in Iowa) The search continued on to the Mazda 3, SPEED3, and 6; Toyota Camry and Corolla (what do you mean they stopped making the Supra?); Honda Civic and Accord, Subaru Legacy and Impreza, Volkswagon Jetta, Mitsubishi Galant and Lancer, and the Nissan Sentra and Altima. Further eliminations were made to rule out larger, old man-ish cars and those with turbo or super-chargers …as they require high-test petrol. I was now left with the Civic EX or Si, the Mazda 3, and the Nissan Sentra SE-R Spec-V. Despite the Mazda’s good reviews, well equipped, it was more expensive than the others, had mediocre mileage, and has a very unattractive rear-end. I test drove a 2006 Spec-V. The performance was mediocre, styling was worse, and the salesperson was the worst. She even misinformed me as to what octane gas it needed. That’s no way to make a good impression, much less a sale. I left without hesitation. The next several test drives were Civics in either the EX or Si trim. The Si is sweet. It’s sweetness is diminished, however, by about another grand on the price tag and around $400/ year more in gas, thanks to it’s premium requirements and lesser efficiency. The EX has the necessities and some accessories to make it enjoyable. Sure, you won’t see it at the drag strip or being power slid in tripod mode by Jeremy Clarkson, but I have yet to be plowed into while attempting to merge into traffic. Here she be:

...it's tough to complain about averaging 34 mpg...

This past Saturday I played in a little fundraiser-type golf tourney. I haven’t been on a course since January, so I knew it’d be interesting. Our team of hackers wanted to lean on me, but that would have been analogous to leaning on a crutch of cotton. We skank-bladed, snap-hooked, rip-topped, and laughed our way to a one over par. This, I might add, was a mere 14 strokes off the lead. …can’t be perfect all the time.

As an afterthought, I highly recommend any future car buyer to read this article. Confessions of a Car Salesman, though lengthy, provides a great deal of insight and is entertaining to boot.